i remember {9.11}

every year i struggle with the *perfect* way to remember this day, honor this day. honestly, there is no right answer. i think the important thing is that we never forget.

the last couple of days, i kept thinking about the layout that i did about this day, 9 years ago. this morning, i pulled it out of my 2001 album and took a picture to share here with you. but you know what? i am so glad i did because i just got so much more from it than a mere blog post. as i stood here at the computer with the layout beside me, spencer comes over, takes it to his chair and reads it. all of it. when he was done, he looked at coleman and said "one day, when you're older, you'll understand" and then he brought the layout back to me, saying only "that's pretty impressive." and then he went upstairs, where he is right now. i wonder...is he sad? is he thinking about that day that he doesn't remember because he was too young? is he trying to make sense of it all?

at this moment, i am so incredibly glad that i took the time 9 years ago to document this event when it was still fresh and raw.

the layout is mostly journaling, with some photos cut from magazines. a good portion of the journaling is comprised of excerpts from president george w. bush's speeches during the days following 9-11. then i included a timeline of the tragedy and finally "my story".

journaling directly from layout

on the morning of september 11, 2001 i was at work in charlotte, nc at mergent, inc. a coworker, heather told me to go to cnn.com because a plane had crashed into the world trade center. i really didn't comprehend anything yet. once i heard about the 2nd plane, i knew it had to be on purpose. as the news unravelled it was all just so overwhelming. i immediately called matt, who was taking spencer to school, so i spoke to his mom. my sister sherry called and wanted me to go home. she was worried about me being in charlotte. i later found out mom felt the same way but didn't call because she didn't want to scare me. we were all glued to the radio at work. you couldn't access any news websites because they were so busy. they sent us home at 11:15. the next several weeks i watched the news constantly and listened to talk radio. i continue to pray for our country as president bush leads us into a war against terrorism. my patriotism is stronger than ever. i am proud to be an american and i am proud of those leading our country. i have accepted giving up small conveniences for our freedom. the images of that day will forever be in my mind & heart. written 10.2.2001

MY THOUGHTS FROM TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY:
i don't even know what to say or think. On my way home there is a big car dealership with a huge flag and it was at half mast...that is when i broke down. don't know why. just did. i am lucky & blessed that i do not have any close friends or relatives in the areas that have been attacked, but i can't even imagine what it's like for all those people...

it was so weird yesterday going on with my life...fixing dinner for spencer and matt. i feel guilty getting up and coming to work. so many people will never have dinner with their families again. so many people's lives will never be the same...yet we go on. i know we have to be strong or the terrorists win. it just seems so unfair...watching the tv is like watching some of those middle eastern countries that are constantly at war...it seemed impossible to be our country. i think that is why it is hitting me so much harder today. yesterday, they were horrible images on tv, but they were so horrific, it didn't seem real. now, the names of the dead are being announced, the numbers of missing and deceased are starting to develop...this makes it real.

even though i'm glad i wrote this, looking back is still doesn't even begin to capture the emotions of that tragic day and the weeks that followed. it is impossible for me to think about it without my eyes getting watery.

it's hard to believe we still have troops fighting because of this one day. i'm still very proud to be an american. i still pray for those sacrificing for our freedom. today, and every day, i will remember.

digi layout {what if?}

tonight, as coleman and i rocked in his nursery, i once again began pondering the "what ifs" and how close i came to not trying to have a baby. as i sat there, holding the most precious being i can ever imagine, i scripted the journaling below. granted, it wasn't scripted as a scrapbook page, but after my mind had wandered for a bit, i realized that i wanted to capture those thoughts and emotions. and that i needed to do it immediately. so, instead of watching yet another episode of prison break, i did something a bit more meaningful with my time. hopefully, one day, these words will let coleman know that even though i was unsure of whether i wanted to be a mother, he is loved unconditionally and it was the most perfect decision we've ever made.

journaling: what if we had never talked about it? what if i hadn’t heard my biological clock ticking? what if everyone had stopped asking? what if i had no faith in myself? what if we hadn’t taken the choice away from ourselves & science and put it in more worthy hands? what if we had not trusted Him to know the right answer? what if we hadn’t been blessed so easily? what if you weren’t placed in our family? so many times i look at you and think to myself...how could i have ever even considered not growing our family? these thoughts often crowd my mind. but i push them aside, unable to bear the thought of life without you. i am so grateful that after all the “what ifs”, you are here with us. photo taken feb 2010; journaling sept 2010

supplies: photo was taken by lindsay alexander photography; journaling font - ck invitation; title font - porcelain; template by katie pertiet; papers & elements by jessica sprague

{one word answers}

i saw this neat "one word" questionnaire at Katie the Scrapbook Lady and thought i'd give it a whirl.

You. Can. Only. Type. One. Word.
No. Explanations.
WARNING: This is not as easy as it looks.

Yourself? love
Your boyfriend/girlfriend? husband
Your hair? roots
Your Favorite Item: laptop
Your dream last night: sleep
Your Favorite drink: beer
Your Dream Car? kingranch
The room you are in: office
Your Ex: past
Your fear: alone
What you want to be in 10 years: happy
What you’re NOT? perfect
Muffins: warm
One of Your Wish List Items: heels
Time: short
The Last Thing You Did: typed
What You Are Wearing: clothes
Your Favorite Weather: warm
Your Favorite Book: Bible
The last thing you ate: jambalaya
Your Life: good
Your Mood: fine
Your friends: nifty
What are you thinking about right now? words
Your cellphone: addictive
What are you doing at the moment? typing
Your summer: over
Your relationship status: married
What is on your tv? off
What is the weather like? hot
When is the last time you laughed? today
What do you do when you can’t sleep? book

let me know if you post a list on your blog. i'd love to read it.

celebrate monday {9.6}

*celebrate monday* at simple scrapper

The idea is simple. Strip away the extras for a small moment to center yourself on what is most important in your process. Find the photo, tell the story...

i know it's not monday, but i love this concept so i didn't want to miss it for the week!

yogurt has been a favorite treat of coleman's for a long while. once he started wanting to feed himself with a fork or spoon, it became even more of a "go to" snack or dessert. it easily sticks to the utensil so he can actually get some in his mouth...of course, he gets it elsewhere as well. at one point, we showed him how to squeeze the bottom of the cup to more easily reach the end of the yogurt with his spoon. it didn't take long for him to figure out he can squeeze the cup and just shove it into his mouth. but at least eating is fun! sometimes i wonder if he actually eats any of it, or just ends up wearing it!

results {unplugged}

i guess i should begin with an apology for not posting my *unplugged* results on sunday, as promised. i know you all were staring at your computer screens in anticipation of the miraculous results that would be forthcoming. i'd love to report that the day was so successful that we just decided to unplug for three days, thus the delay. but c'mon...not even close! i have a million excuses of why i haven't posted anything in three days -- none of which you care about, right??? now to the results...

first, a recap of what our day looked like:
up at 7:00 - very late morning for coleman
out the door by 8:30; cross country race; back by 11:00
naptime from about 1:00 to 3:00, i think
3:30 to 5:30 were at my in-laws, then a trip to wal-mart...
home before 6:00; matt home from work around 6:45

television: when coleman and i came downstairs in the morning, the TV was on because matt had been watching it before work. i immediately turned it off which resulted in a distraught "is off?" from the addicted toddler. we were gone so much of the day, that this wasn't a huge issue. it *felt* a little weird not to have it on, just because i'm used to the background noise. i had a really hard time getting coleman to go down for his nap, and i typically would put on cmt as we rock in the recliner, so i was flying solo on that (but he did eventually take a nap). and i have to confess that while we were at my in-laws, they had the tv on the entire time - tuned to CMT for coleman. so, i feel like we unintentionally cheated on that. oh, and when we walked into their house, i got a very enthusiastic "is on!" from the tot!

internet: i did a really good job with this (which was my biggest goal). matt called in the morning to tell me there was an email from spencer's baseball coach that i needed to read. i pulled that up on my phone and that was the only thing i did that was internet related.

texting: i didn't think about addressing this in my "rules" as i was brainstorming the day. i got a text from my sister in the morning about the time we were to meet her, but i called her back instead of texting back. i also sent a "happy birthday" text to a friend of mine. she was out of town with family and i liked that it was less-instrusive than calling while they were vacationing. in general, it felt a little weird to not be glued to my iPhone every time i had a free second.

music: i used my iPhone to play some music for a short while at home. we listened to the radio in the car. and as i mentioned above, my in-laws had cmt on during our visit.

conclusions

• i feel like we didn't receive the full effect of *unplugging* because we were gone from home for so much of the day. next time, we need to be home more. that will make it tougher, but that's kind of the point!
• being gone for most of the day (and spending almost 2 hours trying to get coleman to take a nap) made it impossible to do some of the more fun things on my list of ideas.
• i loved that it forced me to do something more productive with naptime. normally i may have just vegged out, watching prison break through netflix, or goofed off on the computer (or both...i'm a crazy multi-tasker like that.) but instead, i worked on my LOM system and even scrapped a layout!!!
• i actually used the newspaper to check the weather forecast (instead of the app on my phone). crazy old school.

my husband currently works on a 4-week rotation that includes one weekend (like this past one) where he works during the day. i think i'm going to try and "unplug" on either saturday or sunday of each of those weekends. i believe if i do it on a more regular basis, i will reap the benefits more (as will coleman).

thanks for humoring my experiment...i know it wasn't very profound. maybe next time!

this week {8.30 to 9.5}

~ i signed up for a blog design class at jessica sprague ~

~ i submitted for FSA reimbursement ~

~ coleman went to the doctor for his 18-month well visit ~

~ i brought in a piece of coleman's artwork to keep on my desk at work ~

~ i mailed an HOA deposit to the management company ~

~ i found a great baptism gift for xander ~

you can order these from NameCrosses. great idea. excellent service.

~ i watched confessions of a shopaholic ~

~ i sorted through my container of scrap paper and cleaned it out ~

~ i volunteered to be the "team mom" for spencer's rec baseball team ~

~ i had my first pumpkin spice latte of the season ~


~ i cleaned out spencer's old art supplies - thew some away, set aside some to give to aj, and kept some for future use with coleman ~

~ we watched the gamecocks stomp southern mississippi ~

~ scott, cameron and xander came over to visit and watch the game ~

~ spencer resigned from his travel ball team ~

~ we found out that spurrier was in rock hill to recruit some high school players ~

~ i shopped at rite aid ~

~ i went to game stop for some research ~

~ i place an online order at football fanatics ~

~ coleman started running a fever at daycare and i left work early to get him ~

~ i ordered two subscriptions of family fun magazine: one for me and one as a birthday gift for tara ~

~ i *unplugged* for a day ~

~ i wrapped two gifts ~

~ coleman and i went to bo & teddy's cross country races ~

~ i made yard sale mini flyers ~

~ coleman and i went to visit my in-laws ~

~ coleman and i went to wal-mart ~

~ i worked on LOM stuff and actually made a layout ~

~ i took coleman to the doctor ~

~ i signed up for the LOM community at big picture scrapbooking ~

~ coleman colored ~

{savings tracker}

spent = $28; saved = $22 (45%)

ytd savings = $3,197 (41%)

4-week average = $99; ytd average = $130

{unplugging}

this post was written friday evening and scheduled to publish this morning. once you read this post, you'll see why that is relevant...

various times, i have seen bloggers talk about making the conscious decision to "unplug" for a day (or longer). here are a few examples:

katie the scrapbook lady

rebecca sower

stacy julian

jodified

some people choose to disconnect from any and all technology, others use it to focus on expanding creativity, some opted to only eliminate internet use. a few days ago, i was thinking about trying to *unplug* at some point. then i realized that the upcoming saturday (today) was the perfect day. my hubby is working during the day. spencer is with his mother. it'd be just coleman and i (until about 6:30 p.m.). sometimes i feel like we spend too much time in front of the tv during the weekends, or that i put too much emphasis on trying to squeeze in computer time when little man is occupied. so, today i am unplugged.

here are the details:

• i am not worried about the telephone. this isn't something that i consider a strong distraction in my life. i don't feel there would be much benefit in focusing on it.
• though i may use my iphone for normal calls, i will not allow myself to use the internet or apps on it.
• i will not turn on the television during the day while it's just coleman and i. matt and i will probably watch tv in the evening, but i decided to do my first 'unplug' alone and not drag him into it. if it goes well, i see a "family unplug" in our future.
• music is allowed. this is the only thing i can do on my computer or iphone. i will not use the tv to play music videos that mesmerize coleman.
• the big focus for me is going to be the computer and internet. i will not use either. zip. zero. nada.

disclaimer: coleman had a fever earlier today and i had to pick him up early from daycare. i will ditch reschedule the "unplug" if he wakes up sick tomorrow. based on how he felt tonight, i think we will be OK.

so...for a couple of days, i've been brainstorming ways to occupy our *unplugged day* and here are some of things in my head right now:

• we are planning to go watch my nephew's cross country race in the morning
• we need to go visit my in-laws
• i have a few things i need to pick up at wal-mart
• during naptime, i want to scrapbook, make cards, paper craft...something like that
• bake some cookies
• write/journal
• read
• play outside
• paint or do an art project with coleman
• go for a walk (need to deliver some HOA flyers)
• sidewalk chalk
• take lots of photos

obviously, i know we won't squeeze all of these things into one day. but i just wanted to brainstorm ideas and we can see what we feel motivated to do. wish me luck.

what do i hope to gain: a general appreciation for things i've neglected (scrapbooking, reading)...learn to enjoy not being overstimulated and the constant need for more and more information...realize the joy of spending more true quality time with my ever-changing son...savor being outside and really seeing what's going on around us.

i will report back tomorrow with how it goes. in the meantime, leave a comment if you've ever intentionally *unplugged* for a period of time. i'd love to hear details (though i promise not to read them until sunday!).

{randomness}

this evening, i thought i'd just walk through some random, unrelated things that i want to share.

gamecocks: college football season started last night and carolina pulled off a fantastic win, beating southern mississippi 41-13. our quaterback, garcia, finally seems to have his act together and we are hoping it's a sign of a strong season. another highlight was lattimore - an impressive freshman tailback. go cocks!!!

baseball: spencer has chosen to resign from his travel baseball team (the "season" is year-long, going through november). he thoroughly enjoyed the spring, but unfortunately things turned sour with his coach recently. we allowed him to make the decision on his own and agreed to be supportive. as of wednesday, he chose to put this chapter behind him (and, for the record, all four of his parents are glad he made that decision). the good news is that he has started fall rec ball and absolutely loves it. he thinks his coach walks on water and it has renewed his passion for the sport - hallelujah!

photobook: picaboo had a free photobook offer for the month of august. i waited until the last minute to order mine because i couldn't decide what photos to use. i finally decided to do one highlighting spencer's time with his travel ball season, as a birthday gift for him. i chose to do this before we knew he was going to resign, but i'm still glad i did it. he did thoroughly enjoy most of his time with the team and i want him to remember the good times, and not just the sour ending. the photobook arrived very quickly! it has a retail value of $39.99 and i only paid $8.99 for shipping. it's hard cover, full-color. for the small amount i paid, i thought it was a good book. however, if i had paid almost $50 for it, i wouldn't have been pleased with the quality. i've ordered many photobooks from many companies and i feel like the page quality here wasn't fantastic.

rite aid: today i went to rite aid for some fantastic deals but was disappointed that the store was out of almost all of the freebie or cheapie items. very disappointing. i got some diapers at a good price, but not at my preferred price. phooey.

ok, lots of randomness there... excited to be kicking off a long, holiday weekend!

welcome {fall}

* it's september *

* the pumpkin spice latte is back at starbucks *

* we had lunch with this guy last week *

* today, i wore these colors *

* and tonight, this happens *

*finally, it's football season*

it might still be hot, but it's fall in the south.

welcome.

i got chill bumps writing this post.

{smashing magazine}

around the first of every month, i pay a visit to smashing magazine. i don't know what this website is about or for. i have no idea why it's called smashing. what i do know is that , many moons ago, i was looking for a free download to use as my desktop wallpaper...just something fun and different. my google search brought me here and i've been visiting monthly ever since.

on the first of each month, they have a blog post with tons and tons of free wallpaper downloads. here is september's. each download is available in a variety of screen sizes and with or without a calendar on it. i usually choose the calendar option, though i'm not sure why because i rarely use it for reference. the selection of designs is very diverse. i'd be surprised if you couldn't find something you'd like! i usually struggle with picking my favorite. but with my immense love of all things *cowboy*, this one yanked at my heartstrings!