digi layout {what if?}

tonight, as coleman and i rocked in his nursery, i once again began pondering the "what ifs" and how close i came to not trying to have a baby. as i sat there, holding the most precious being i can ever imagine, i scripted the journaling below. granted, it wasn't scripted as a scrapbook page, but after my mind had wandered for a bit, i realized that i wanted to capture those thoughts and emotions. and that i needed to do it immediately. so, instead of watching yet another episode of prison break, i did something a bit more meaningful with my time. hopefully, one day, these words will let coleman know that even though i was unsure of whether i wanted to be a mother, he is loved unconditionally and it was the most perfect decision we've ever made.

journaling: what if we had never talked about it? what if i hadn’t heard my biological clock ticking? what if everyone had stopped asking? what if i had no faith in myself? what if we hadn’t taken the choice away from ourselves & science and put it in more worthy hands? what if we had not trusted Him to know the right answer? what if we hadn’t been blessed so easily? what if you weren’t placed in our family? so many times i look at you and think to myself...how could i have ever even considered not growing our family? these thoughts often crowd my mind. but i push them aside, unable to bear the thought of life without you. i am so grateful that after all the “what ifs”, you are here with us. photo taken feb 2010; journaling sept 2010

supplies: photo was taken by lindsay alexander photography; journaling font - ck invitation; title font - porcelain; template by katie pertiet; papers & elements by jessica sprague